When one hears the word, ‘no’ too many times, their self-confidence takes a critical hit. The pandemic has thrust almost everyone into uncertainty and worry, especially when it comes to the job front. With people losing jobs, and with limited opportunities for career moves and expansion, many careers are taking a nosedive. This is taking a toll on mental health and confidence.
However, you can positively use your surroundings, yourself, and your circumstances to grow and change for the better! Change can cause turmoil and agitation for many people, but don’t lose hope. Finding inner peace and self-assurance to get through these times is just a step away.
There are many ways you can become your own hype-person and build your confidence! We spoke with Geeta Ramakrishnan, ontological coach and bestselling author of The Game of Change to learn more about becoming self-assured. Standing tall is not as easy as it seems and Coach Geeta is here to help you!
Watch her full workshop to learn and grow on the Kool Kanya Community. Sign up now.
Here are some pointers on gathering up all your confidence and running with it!
What Is Confidence And How Do I Find It
Confidence can often be translated into a sense of surety when it comes to the self. Many people are naturally confident because they believe in themselves and have the means to make sure that they will succeed in life.
According to ontological coach Geeta Ramakrishnan, “Confidence is derived from a sense of achievement. Especially when you set a goal for yourself, face the obstacles in its path, unwaveringly follow through, and are able to achieve what you set for.”
A lot of people, however, do not have the privilege of being ‘sure’ of their future. Their problems might stem from dubious funds, from a lack of a network, or from a fragile social ecosystem. The lack of confidence might also arise from the gendered society that we live in!
“As women, we do have to work harder than men doing the same job, to be able to prove ourselves and be seen as efficient, especially at work,” says Coach Geeta. “While we have a natural tendency to be nurturers and givers, we are also empowered with the tenacity and willpower to endure and make things happen.”
The author of the book, The Game of Change, believes that women just need to believe in themselves and see failures as learning opportunities. Changing your perspective is the first step to changing yourself!
How To Separate The Idea Of ‘Having A Job’ From ‘Being Worthy’
Self-worth, especially in present times, is deeply related to social worth and the notion of success. Whether you have a job, how much you earn, what your designation is–all these things link deeply with the idea of ‘worthiness’ in society. This also, undeniably, has a congruent impact on self-confidence! However, is it correct to derive confidence from your social worth?
According to Coach Geeta, separating the idea of having a job’ and ‘being worthy’ is the first step towards holistic growth!
“Once you are able to distinguish your purpose and focus on the path then your family, job, and money become mere outcomes.”
If you are looking to become more grounded, strong, and balanced, you can work on yourself. This will undoubtedly spill over to your professional life as well. Be physically and mentally fit. Focus on exercise, healthy eating, meditation.
Baggage is not only something that comes with a tense personal or professional situation. We tend to pick up baggage as we go through life. Let go of negative emotional baggage and learn to draw boundaries. Meditation, journaling, and expressive arts can help you with letting go.
“A winning mindset and honing your skills will automatically give you a sense of ‘being worthy’ where having a job is just one aspect of the whole.”
Understanding The Fears I Feel When Trying New Things
There is always a slew of emotions that come along with trying anything new. Transferring to a new school, trying to find a new job, shifting to a new city–all these things are riddled with fears and anxieties.
“Anything that has an unknown element, where you are not in control, brings some apprehension and fear into it. The thought of ‘what if it does not work,’ ‘what if I fail,’ ‘what will people think of me’ keep haunting us. And that is part of your protective mechanism to protect yourself from being rash,” says Coach Geeta.
Most of the time, an anxious mind blocks the capacity to think logically. There are some steps you can take to deal with your fears and anxieties in a healthy manner.
- Awareness of your anxiety is a good first step to conquering it.
- Taking a deep breath is enough to switch the gear in one’s mind from anxious to calm.
- Thinking of the worst possible outcome may force you to realise that the situation is manageable.
- Remembering no pain no gain allows you to take some chances in life.
According to the ontological coach and author, to grow in life and to learn something new, we have to extend ourselves into the unknown zone.
You can learn how to manage your emotions at work with this handy guide. Read More.
Physical Steps I Can Take To Feel More Upbeat
The brain and psyche plays a huge part in building confidence and hyping yourself up, but how can we use our body to do the same? It is one thing to think happy thoughts and have a positive outlook in life. Sure, it will probably impact mental health positively, but we can also use our bodies to boost our psyche! The trick is to sharpen our bodies and our minds in tandem with each other.
“Our body and our mind are parts of a whole,” says Coach Geeta. “Any changes in our body can alter the state of our minds and the other way round. For example a calm mind can bring the blood pressure to a normal range.”
The way you carry yourself can often make an impact on how you feel and how you present yourself to the world. However, the way your body is or looks does not have to change. All you need to change is the way you use it.
“If you were to make a facial expression resembling a smile, even if you had absolutely no reason to smile, your mind would think that your body is happy and will naturally feel happy. This can also reduce stress despite the existing environment being stressful.”
Here are some things you can do to physically look and feel more confident:
- Tilt your chin up
- Keep your back straight.
- Stand tall.
- Be well-dressed and well-groomed
If you want to feel confident, one brilliant brain hack that Coach Geeta supplies is to take on the body position or movements of a confident person.
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Concrete Ways To Raise Self-confidence
Mental health and self-confidence go hand in hand, and caring for yourself is often the biggest part of feeling good about yourself! There are some concrete ways that you can raise your self-confidence, and Coach Geeta is here to tell you about them.
According to Coach Geeta, the best way to raise confidence in yourself is to believe.
“Believe in yourself even if you had a bad work day, lost your job, lost a lot of money.”
However, many might wonder about how ‘belief’ can bring about concrete changes in your psyche. The answer is simple. Back up your beliefs with personal goals, a purpose that you work towards, and values that help you achieve your personal best. This will always give you the energy to drive forward and not lose hope.
Learning from your failures might seem like an often given solution to all of life’s problems, but it is still excellent advice if you remember to action it into your life!
“Life has its ups and downs,” but without a little flavour you would never be able to grow to match your potential!
However, these uneven paths have the power to help you learn and grow to unrecognizable degrees. If you are more competent, it is obvious that you will also become more confident!
Looking within yourself and examining yourself with an unbiased lens can help you become more confident. Coach Geeta believes that introspection can make you more confident in situations where you need to prove yourself and also become more empathetic as a person.
“Add introspection to your life. What made that meeting go bad? What can you do to make it better instead of complaining? Why did my friend cheat me? Use empathy.”
As you become more self aware and take steps to address your issues, then your pride and belief in yourself will make you stronger and more resilient!
Change your Perspective
As the author of The Game of Change, Geeta Ramakrishnan believes strongly in the power of changing your perspective and your way of thinking.
“Think from the other person’s perspective. This helps you learn to draw your boundaries, let go of negative baggage, and be open, flexible, and curious. These are the tools to build your confidence.”
Although change is terrifying, it is also the natural order of things. Without change, we would stagnate and become unyielding!
(Continue reading below.)
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Do I Need A Time Out While Searching For Jobs Or Projects
We’ve been told time and time again to keep moving forward and never stop. From Sports brands to Disney Films, all we hear is ‘just do it.’ Our brains are like computers. As a habit we tend to ruminate on negative thoughts and then our emotions get drawn into a downward spinning spiral.
According to Coach Geeta, “While we need to keep going forward and learning from the hard lessons of life, we also need to take a pause once in a while.”
Take a moment to take a break, introspect, or just relax to make sure that you are not running towards the wrong goal-post! This is especially important when you are looking for a new job or starting a new project.
“It is the best time to run an assessment and do an audit of what we want in life, what we are chasing, how to match our goals to what makes us happy with regard to our material world of wants.”
Taking a little break before while trying your best is warranted and necessary. It teaches you to prioritize. Without your time-out, you will never realise what you need to keep in your life, and what you need to let go of!
Using My Surroundings, Myself, And My Circumstances To Grow
Flexibility is important when it comes to taking the chance to grow and become better. HOwever, you need to know your limits as well, so you can stay true to yourself.
“Be open minded and flexible while keeping a broad boundary beyond which you would not like to flex. At this limit, you will say and mean ‘No.’
Within the limit, use your imagination and be free. While you focus on your goals and wants, be flexible to try out different things or try things differently. Make sure you are open to taking calculated risks and learning from what didn’t work in your life.
Growth lies beyond the canyon of fear!
Here are some things you can do to use your surroundings to grow:
- Be open to taking calculated risks.
- Learn from what you see around you.
- Be curious and keep asking yourself ‘what can I do to make it better’.
“Here ‘you’ are taking the responsibility in your own hands vs passing the blame to others. Maybe you will still fail but what matters is that you tried!” says Coach Geeta.
Look at these are opportunities to become a better person, to learn and grow.
Getting Used To The Idea Of Change, Rejection, And Negativity
“No one likes change, we like the same old same old ways of working, thinking, and feeling even if it means hurt and stress and anxiety and unhappiness. Sometimes rejection can lead you to a better opportunity you never thought you will get.” However, Coach Geeta Stipulates that “Of course it is harsh and hard and requires a learning curve.”
In this situation, being open and flexible comes in handy. Having a positive attitude can do wonders for your confidence, especially when it comes to understanding and releasing failure.
“Believing in yourself is a great mindset to tide you over fear and change. After all there is always a 50% chance that you will succeed!”
A positive attitude, an open spirit, and an outlook that is ready to take fear head-on: these are the stepping stones to success.
Demanding Space For Multiple Expressions Of Confidence
Many corporate coaching programs school us in the appearance of confidence rather than helping us feel confident deep within and then acting from that confidence. Corporate culture can also often promote a hyper-masculine idea of what acting with confidence looks like. When this happens, how do we make and demand space for multiple expressions of confidence, and ask for or identify programs that bring about lasting change and transformation?
According to Coach Geeta, “Change happens from within and is gender-neutral. If you want the change, change your attitude to that of confidence. A well-groomed appearance does add to the confidence but it needs to be teamed with your inner confidence.”
Corporate culture has often taken many victims when it comes to self-confidence. A skin-deep notion of self- belief is not enough to concretely change your life and career trajectory!
“Corporate culture can promote a tainted idea of confidence, but it depends on what you look at and where you look. Even if I am the only female in the corporate world, I can still project my inner confidence as I am as good if not better than anyone out there.”
The more we portray our achievements with a confident and ready-to-learn mindset–influencing changes in corporate policies where-ever possible–we can bring about a gender neutral image of confidence in the corporate world!
Confidence is such an intangible thing. One moment you do not have any , and another you are filled with it! Life is all about learning, growning, and becoming better. Confidence comes with a sense of trust in one’s abilities, and the knowledge that you are enough.
So keep your head high, and hype yourself up to become the best version of who you can be. The confidence you need will follow in the footsteps of your success!
Watch her full workshop to learn and grow on the Kool Kanya Community. Sign up now.
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