women and feminism

Let’s talk about toys, baby! 6 ways 'adult products' can empower you

. 6 min read . Written by Vanshika Goenka
Let’s talk about toys, baby! 6 ways 'adult products' can empower you

Adult products. Sexual products. Handheld massager. Intimate products for married couples. The most entertaining thing about hunting for a good sex toy is knowing what to type on Google.

A few years ago, when there were very few sexual wellness websites, finding a good vibrator was a tough task. Due to high demand and limited supply, vibrators would cost a bomb, prompting people like me to attempt looking for cheaper options on Flipkart and Amazon. That search was unknowingly a part of the silent sex toy revolution in India – people were upping their game in bed in secret!

Sold under the keywords massager, body massager for women, and handheld massager were magic wands, aka intense vibrators that held the power to make people with clitorises see stars in broad daylight. But if you were to type ‘vibrator’ in the search bar, you’d get nothing.

Several things have changed since this discovery – the many sexual wellness websites in establishment today are more forthcoming and definitely not shy about broaching the question: have you introduced toys into your sexy-time routine yet?

Even though discreteness is a big part of our conscience, which brands understand (we’ll ship the product to your house but do it in a way that your mummy doesn’t know what’s in it), there’s one thing that rings true: Indians are opening their eyes to toys in the bedroom. Don’t look at me – let the numbers talk!

India’s silent sex toy revolution

A 2020 report by a sexual wellness e-commerce website, ThatsPersonal, claimed that their sales had surged by a whopping 65% during the first lockdown. Another sexual wellness startup, Kaamastra, which also provided sexual health advice to its customers, claimed that it saw 25% growth in phone enquiries. Even though sex itself is considered taboo in our country, these reports surely tell us something else: we are curious and ready to explore in bed.

If this news wasn’t interesting enough, here’s more: over time, these websites have seen a rise in female customers to the point where they’re reaching a 50:50 ratio with men.

Though men are spending more time on these sites, women’s carts are getting heavier. And guess what these women are inching towards? Massagers.

Several interesting facets of this study aside, it’s safe to say that now is a great time to venture into the world of sex toys, or 'adult products' if you haven’t already. Sex toys aren’t meant just for couples – they can give you a memorable solo trip if you wish for it to be that way.

Using sex toys is an exciting route to empowerment, and we’re here to tell you how.

6 ways sex toys aka 'adult products' can empower you

Given that our country is light years away from being cool about sex, many of us have developed a myopic idea about it. Introducing something as new as toys in the bedroom – be it kinky gear, lubricants, vibrators, dildos, or any other intimate product can be daunting. Self-pleasure is another thing many women have yet to explore without feeling shame.

This is where sex toys can change the game – getting in touch with your wants and needs can make you a more confident person, whether you choose to do it alone or with someone else.

Now that we have this out of the way, let’s go!

1. It helps you get in tune with your body

In a world that is centred around male pleasure, women are never taught to think about ourselves. Our bodies are rarely considered ours; they belong to our parents, our in-laws, our husbands, and our children. Our ability to feel pleasure is deeply central to who we are, which is why it’s important to know what you like. Exploring sex toys can do that for you.

With an array of sexual wellness products available online, finding one that suits you and playing with it can open up a new world for you.

Once you’re in tune with what you like, you can go on exploring it further to unleash your pleasure potential. A sex toy is a tool to get to know yourself better.

It isn't too difficult to get a head start. Body massagers for women is one Google search away!

2. It helps you become more vocal about your needs

As an extension to knowing and understanding your body, sex toys can help you be more vocal about what you want in bed.

Because of the lack of discourse around women’s pleasure, we often feel shy or just don’t know how to ask for what we want in bed. But the empowering nature of sex toys can instill the confidence in us to teach our partners how to pleasure us right, which is a win-win situation for everyone!

3. It helps take the pressure off you and your partner

Stress, long days at work, and busy schedules can take the pleasure out of pleasure. You might want to turn it up in the bedroom and show yourself or your partner a good time, but your intrusive thoughts just won’t let you be. Why not take the help of an aid that will get you there faster?

From vibrating cock rings that double up to provide clitoral stimulation to remote controlled vibrators, intimate products for couples is a popular genre in itself. You could also let your partner use your personal sex toy on you if they're tired.

That's the beauty of adult products – they help take the stress of 'good' sex off you and come in super handy (terrible pun intended).

4. It enhances and deepens intimacy

Like many women aren’t taught to seek pleasure, many men aren’t taught to look at sex as something more than a conquest.

Sex is inherently an intimate exercise, often making us expose our vulnerable side to our partner. If you don’t understand what gets you going, how will you make the most out of such an intimate experience?

With the help of sex toys, you get to explore yourself and your partner. Knowing what makes them tick can help you pleasure them better, thus making it a more satisfying experience for both of you. What’s a better exercise than that?

5. It spices things up

The ‘3 year itch’ and ‘7 year itch’ in a marriage is often attributed to the routine that couples are tired of, and sex is a big part of it.

The same moves, the same process, the same progression – all of it can cause couples to feel that they’ve lost their spark. That's where you bring in your adult products.

It helps that you know exactly what makes your partner happy after years of having sex with them, and there’s an array of toys and accessories that can help elevate the experience. All you have to do is communicate about what you both are open to, and what you absolutely don’t wish to explore.

6. It brings orgasm equality

Perhaps the most important reason to use a sex toy – especially as a woman – is that it’s revolutionary.

According to a survey conducted by Durex, a whopping 70% of women reported not having an orgasm during sex, compared to 80% of men who do.

Data suggests that many men simply don’t understand women’s anatomy.

Other possible reasons could be the lack of education around women’s pleasure, the negative effects of porn, which gives men the wrong idea about women’s pleasure, and the general apprehension of women to ask for what they want in bed. To be able to bridge this gap, it’s imperative that women understand what gives them pleasure, and sex toys are the best way to do that.

Do you like it fast or slow? Are you a vaginal orgasm person or is clitoral stimulation paramount for you? What about anal? These are questions we must ask ourselves shamelessly to get the best out of our sexual experiences. Orgasm equality is what we should aim for!

We hope these 6 reasons are enough for you to have some fun with a sex toy. The wide range of adult products available online can be overwhelming; we suggest you read about each product and identify what intrigues you the most.

Here are some awesome brands that sell adult products in India:

  • IMBesharam
  • Lovetreats
  • ThatsPersonal
  • Sangya Project
  • MyMuse
  • Sassiest

Happy orgasms to you!

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