"I can’t take another lonely day in the office!”
Dear Kool Kanya,
I have been feeling terribly alone at work. This might sound pathetic, but it’s gotten to a point where I can’t handle it anymore.
See—I’m a pretty shy person to begin with. I find it so very difficult to settle into new places, and making friends instantly is a mountain my introverted self cannot really scale.
Everyday, I walk into work trying to drum up the courage to strike up a conversation. Yet, everyday I fail to do so. I’m exhausted; both, because I feel isolated, and because I feel frustrated at my inability to take charge of the situation.
I’ve had enough, and I know I need to change this.
What should I do?
Love, My Loneliness Is Killing Me
Dear Loneliness,
This might not be what you expected to hear… but we are so proud of you!
You are already on the path to better relationships and less loneliness. Trust us when we say that you’ve taken the most difficult step in this journey—you reached out to someone. In our books, you’re already halfway there!
Introverts the world around feel your pain, and they have an army of tips and tricks to help you out.
Kool Kanya has a couple of suggestions.
First, we think you’re putting too much pressure on yourself, and that is giving you performance anxiety. Give yourself a break! You’re definitely worthy of friendship, and striking a conversation will become a lot easier when you release yourself of this heavy expectation.
Second, break this monumental task into small bits and pieces. ‘Making friends’ is such a big checkbox, but smiling at a co-worker, or just saying “Hi!” is so much easier. This will build a foundation for future friendships.
Lastly, take a deep breath. We all have a certain amount of social currency, which is basically the individual amount of time and energy that we can spend on social interaction. Some are lucky to have it in abundance, while others are not. All this means is that you need to effectively budget your social currency; do it the same way you would budget your monthly salary. How you expend it is autonomous to you.
Kool Kanya believes in you. The courage is within, and we are sure you can tap into it.
Let’s raise our power together!
