What does it say about our mindset and our cultural values, if women feel free-er to be themselves outside the house than inside it?
This feeling is exactly what drove a 28-year-old Meerut woman to take the decision to leave her home in 2013. As the unrelenting pressure from family members to leave her studies mid-way and get married increased, Sanju Rani Verma refused to give up her ambitions. She was unsure of the challenges she would face outside the home on her own, but knew she couldn’t accept and live with the oppressions inside it.
Seven years later, she has cracked the Public Service Commission (PSC) examination and is set to become a commercial tax officer.
Sanju Was Forced To Choose Between The Home And the World, So She Chose The Place Where She Could Truly Be Herself
Born into a family where women’s education was not encouraged, she had to fight hard to go to school and receive an education. After her mother passed away, she had to fight even harder to continue her studies. She was pursuing her post-graduate studies in Delhi University, when the pressure to “settle down” from her family became impossible to refute.
“My mother had passed away just a few days ago and my family started building up pressure to get me married. I tried to explain my point but all in vain. It was then that I decided that they cannot see the things from my perspective and I would rather live by my own because I was not ready to settle for anything less,” she told Times of India.
Forced to choose between her dreams and her family, she chose to not give up on her dreams.
She had no money and ended up having to leave college. However, she determinedly continued to study for her civil services examination, while also taking private tuition classes for children, and teaching part-time at a private school.
After years of hard work, she feels like her hardships have been rewarded after the results for the examination were announced last week.
This is not the end of the road for her however. My final aim is to crack the civil services exam and become a district magistrate,” she says.
Sanju’s Success Story Is Uplifting Also Because Its So Rare
Despite it all, Sanju still hopes her family will be happy to see her become an officer, and finally understand her stubbornness all those years ago. “I am very much aware about my responsibilities and want to support my family in every way possible. But I do not understand the societal pressure… not letting your daughters study and marrying them off.
Sanju’s success story, as inspiring as it is, is a rare one. The fact that her struggles have been rewarded, doesn’t make up for the 7 years of hardship and relentless bravery she had to show on her own, because her family refused to let a woman pursue her dreams from within the house.
There are several women who have had to flee from their homes because they were restricted, oppressed, or even abused within it. Most of them don’t end in success stories, which is why hearing of a rare one like Sanju’s is so uplifting.
Let’s strive to change the way we raise, and the space we create, for women at home, so more Sanju’s can pursue and fulfil their dreams without being forced to remove themselves from it.
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