No one said online dating would be easy. And it isn’t – just ask my distraught male friends and they’ll have a story or ten to tell you.
We’ve been spoiled for choice when it comes to dating apps. Tinder, Hinge, OkCupid and Bumble have bestowed upon us a fantasy of the perfect match – they’re out there, a bouquet of flowers in hand, ready to love us.
But in this pursuit of The One, we accidentally bump into The Unwanted: a coworker. It’s never not awkward. And it gets worse when you see that they’ve swiped right for you.
Many organisations have rules regarding dating in the workplace – some allow it, some disallow it, and some have exceptions. But regardless, it’s a slippery slope to consider getting into a relationship with a coworker. So, what can you do if a coworker has swiped right on you? And what if you think they’re cute and you actually want to swipe back? Team Kool Kanya has you covered.
What to do when your coworker right-swipes you on a dating app
- Evaluate how you feel
Does this right swipe excite you? Does it make you feel flattered? Articulate your feelings to yourself, but don’t act on them immediately. If it’s something you’d like to go ahead with, consider the next steps.
2. Understand your company policies
If your company is not okay with two coworkers getting their flirt on, your decision has been made for you. Being risky can be fun, but that is best kept for the bedroom. If you’ve worked hard to get the job you’re at, this hassle is hardly worth it. You’ll find love in another corner of the world (not your office).
3. Consider the coworker’s position in the company
Have you interacted with this coworker before? Have you worked on a project together, or has your interaction been limited to sharing your office elevator and stealing glances? Understanding the power dynamic between you two is paramount.
If they’re a junior or senior, things will get complicated, and it’s best not to reciprocate.
If they have behaved inappropriately at work, you might want to steer clear (or take it up with HR). But if you’ve answered ‘no’ to these scenarios and you’re curious about them, it could be worth exploring.
4. Confide in your work BFFs
If they seem interesting enough for you to swipe right, speak to your work BFFs to get some inside info on them. This will help seal the deal if you want to take it forward.
5. Speak to them
If your right-swiping coworker is not the man of your dreams, don’t reciprocate. When you see them next in person, take them aside and let them know you’re not comfortable with dating a coworker. Emphasise that your professional dynamic is important for the success of your team.
6. Leverage their personal information
Wait, just hear us out. Don’t swipe right if you aren’t interested, but do take a closer look at their profile. What’s their out-of-office personality like? Where do they go to unwind, what kind of activities are they into, what music do they listen to?
This can help you understand them a little better, which can help you develop a better working relationship with them.
Just don’t tell them you’ve analysed their profile, and you’re good to go.
7. Ask yourself: What if it’s by accident?
When no scenario adds up – you’ve seen them maybe twice and haven’t moved past a cursory ‘hello’ – there’s a chance that they accidentally right-swiped you. If you don’t wish to make more of it, you can avoid them and move on with your life. Swipe left, or simply leave the app and come back. There’s a slim chance that the algorithm gods will shuffle your matches. Done!
Is it ok to swipe right on someone you know? It depends. This advice holds true whether someone right-swipes you or vice versa.
Bear in mind, however, that in case things go sour with a coworker, it could impact your career or make either of you quit before you even need to.
Office romances sound great on paper, but they’re a different ballgame in reality. With that in mind, go forth and swipe!
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