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As a woman, life is all about juggling and managing. You take care of the family, manage your work, keep track of your own health, deal with the difficult parts of life like the period pain, mocking at the workplace, labor at home, and more. Yet women are supposed to handle all of these issues gracefully, with a smile on their faces and strength in their minds.
Working women—especially in India where they have a family of at least four to five people including kids and in-laws—usually don’t get time for themselves. Some have even given up on the idea that this “me time” is important.
However, it is absolutely essential!
No matter how strong and confident you are, no matter how supportive your husband and in-laws are, you always need some time to yourself. You need to evaluate yourself, catalog the thoughts that have been running through your mind, sort through the issues that have been weighing on you, and to get a better perspective and a fresh outlook for the future!
Most women—married and unmarried—go through a lot of pain, pressure, and problems at work and on the home-front. At times, the family doesn’t understand you well, other times everyone listens to you and yet you feel unheard. Sometimes, all you want is to be alone and cry, laugh, or maybe rethink everything that has been going on in your life. Every so often, you might even want to be alone just to think about how lucky you have been.
It’s completely normal to have your own private me time, irrespective of your marital status, whether you have kids or not, or how much time you really have.
More often than not, when women are asked to take some personal space and time out for themselves, they reply with worries about lack of time. Either they have to look after kids, their work schedule is too tight, or they have their husbands and in-laws to take care of. Women have a whole lot of mess on their hands, but not a few moments to call their own!
To these ladies: no matter how busy your life is, to get everything sorted, you need to have your own personal time-out.
How do I find, and spend, this ‘me time?’
Well, the answer to this is pretty simple. Wake up early in the morning and go out for a walk, stand in the balcony after work sipping your coffee alone. You can also plug in your earphones and listen to your favorite singers when your kids are asleep. Taking a nice warm shower after coming home from your office is another option!
‘Me time’ is not restricted to a certain format. It depends on how and when you can separate yourself from your immediate concerns in life. Taking a short break from your responsibilities is important to keep yourself on track. Don’t forget that taking care of yourself is as important as taking care of your loved ones!
How do I tell my partner/ family that I need personal space without hurting them?
A lot of ladies face this problem at home. Whenever they ask for personal space or time, someone from the family pops out with the typical questions like, “why do you need it?” or “Aren’t we doing enough for you?”
Yes, they might be doing a lot for us like taking care of us, listening to our problems, and more. Bbut that does not negate the fact that we still need that ‘me time’ to ourselves. This time can be spent to get refreshed, to sort the thoughts in our minds, to plan the life ahead, or if nothing else, then at least to spend time figuring ourselves out.
Many times, your family, partners, children, or significant others might not understand this need to separate yourself from the world. Trying to argue in favor of your personal time-out may result in resistance and hostility.
So, instead of being too direct and creating chaos within the family dynamic, you could phrase your needs in a way that is more accessible to others. You could say something along the lines of:
“I am feeling pretty unfit these days, so I enrolled myself in a yoga class.”
“I’d rather walk to the grocery shop, then go by bike.”
“I am a bit tired today, so I’ll just take a warm shower.”
These are only a few examples. There are plenty of ways to tell your family that you need me time without actually telling them!
What will change if I spend some time by myself?
Spending some time alone will only result in positive changes. The progress might be slow, but taking time out of your hectic schedule to take a break often results in good things for your mind, body, and soul! It will also, eventually, lead to a better time for your loved ones.
When you spend some time alone with yourself, you feel refreshed. You get a new energy source that lasts very long and your mood tends to lift. You perform better at your work and as a result, you probably keep people around you happier as well.
All this happens because you are happy yourself.
When your needs are taken care of and your mind is not messy, it tends to reflect upon your life and choices. You have your thoughts sorted, a clearer vision, and a happier mood.
So ladies, don’t forget to spend some time on yourself. You will be keeping yourself and your relationships healthy, both physically and mentally!
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