If you’re happy and in love, I’m happy for you. Ecstatic, really. But I’ll have to ask you to ignore this post. This post is dedicated to those tired of the shenanigans of happy couples. Of the bombardment of engagement and wedding and anniversary photos (does it ever end?). Of the fancy proposals, the flower bouquets, the implications of romantic bliss.
This post is dedicated to the bitter, pretending-to-be-happy singles out there. I see you.
Our feelings for V-day as an occasion are often contextual and subject to change. When we’re harbouring a crush or are in love, we see the world through rose-tinted glasses. Everything is sweet, warm, and fuzzy. And then comes the heartbreak. The rose-tinted glasses shatter and leave behind a giant mess. It’s cold, bitter, and painful.
Think of this post as the antidote to that heartbreak.
There’s a certain pressure to feel on this day. You can’t just ignore it and let the day pass. You must feel. It’s easy to do it when you’re in a relationship. You’re happy; you can be as cheesy as you want. It’s the single folks who feel more pressured – mostly to not feel anything at all.
Be cool. This day doesn’t matter. If I show even a trace of emotion, I will be damned for eternity, or worse, be called desperate.
This day is essentially romantic love on steroids, but it’s the single folks who are forced to not show their disdain. So, if you’re wondering how to spend Valentine’s Day as a single person, I’ll tell you how: by being bitter.
The truth is, this day does matter. If couples can bask in the glory of a relationship, single people should be allowed to wallow. If we’re celebrating the joy of being loved, we can also criticise how much it sucks to be alone.
There’s power in it, if you ask me – especially if you’re a woman doing it. Think of yourself as Taylor Swift reclaiming her reputation as the boy-crazy girl. If she doesn’t care about what people say, neither should you.
Bonus: think of all the songs you’d be able to write if you really channelled your bitterness onto paper.
Without further ado, here are 6 ways you can be successfully bitter this Valentine’s Day:
1. Really, really hate the day
I’m talking Adele’s Rolling in the deep, Taylor Swift’s I knew you were trouble level hate. There’s a certain power in accepting that you don’t have something you want. Those happy about Valentine’s Day would want you to conceal your disdain and be happy for them. This year, don’t be.
Get rid of the toxic positivity. Express your unhappiness the way couples express their joy. Take up space.
2. Read about its history to take the joy out of the occasion
You can read about the brief history of Valentine’s Day here. Now, reading about this won’t bring you much satisfaction, but you can take it one step further and cite your research whenever someone talks about love in a manner that annoys you. For example:
“I got a rose from Rahul this year.”
“Great. Did you know that Saint Valentine was executed on this day? A man was literally killed. Do you really want to celebrate that?”
Be rest assured that they will remove themselves from this conversation immediately. Mission accomplished.
3. Cut off your couple friends – but kindly
This is in no way meant to be rude. But taking a day off from being the single friend or the third wheel is a great idea. Go forth and do a day-long social media detox to rid yourself of the cheesiness.
Choose not to respond or react to your couple friends’ posts and stories. You have 364 days to do that.
Take this one day to be your single self. You don’t owe your couple friends anything on this day.
4. Feel bad for yourself
Behind an angry response is a whole lot of sadness.
We’re expected to conceal it because wanting love in today’s day and age is equated to being desperate. So, we choose to be mad.
It isn’t wrong to be mad, but you can instead be sad. It doesn’t make you weak. Wanting love and not having it doesn’t make you weak. It’s just what it is.
Switch from angry Taylor Swift and Adele to sad Taylor Swift and Adele. Cry a little. Eat your feelings. Miss your ex. Or that childhood crush who made 2nd grade science class interesting. You’re allowed to feel bad. Just remember to pick yourself back up the next day.
5. Maybe make a mistake or two
If you’re a responsible adult navigating through life fairly smoothly, you’re allowed to do this.
That childhood crush I mentioned above? Would it be truly terrible to find them on social media? Or would it suck to flirt harmlessly with someone and have it not mean anything? It’s a day to indulge a little.
As long as no one’s getting hurt, go ahead and do that one thing that gives you instant gratification. You’re allowed.
6. Spend time with your family
You know what truly takes the romance out of a situation? Parents. So, bury yourself in family activities. Watch Hum Aapke Hain Koun or Hum Saath Saath Hain. Sing ABCDEFGHI on the top of your lungs. Order in for your parents and indulge with them.
There’s no better way to celebrate Valentine’s Day than by desexualising the day entirely.
So long as wanting love and wearing one’s heart on their sleeve is frowned upon, you’re allowed to be bitter. So, make this occasion count and be the worst version of yourself. You never know, love can find you in unexpected situations. Maybe during a Hum Saath Saath Hain binge?
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