How to ask for what you want: the ‘good girl’ edition

. 3 min read . Written by Vanshika Goenka
How to ask for what you want: the ‘good girl’ edition

The second season of the highly anticipated show, Bridgerton, is out, and it is as dramatic as the first. While some of the protagonists and storylines are new, what remains unchanged is our love for our favourite BFF duo, Eloise Bridgerton and Penelope Featherington. Finding their way in a patriarchal world cannot be easy, but they’re fighting the good fight.

As women, asking for what we want can be tough. Putting ourselves and our needs first is a thing we don’t know how to do well, given that the patriarchy is omnipresent and here to police us. For women who do end up asking for what they deserve, there often come terms, conditions, and conundrums they must deal with.

But because many of us are sure in our wants and needs, we find ways to get it – sneakily. Just ask Eloise and Penelope!

Are you a ‘good girl’ trying to find your footing in this world? Well, here’s how you can do it.

How to ask for what you want: the ‘good girl’ edition

Ensure you’re a constant pain about it

You know how Eloise just won’t shut up about the patriarchal practices that allow her brothers the privilege to study and travel the world? She makes sure to bring it up in every conversation, every argument. She brings it up when her mother drags her to the modiste, she brings it up when it’s her turn to be presented to society, she brings it up when she’s asked to do anything remotely gendered. But she’s polite about it.

Sometimes, making noise isn’t the best solution. Being consistent is.

Take advantage of prejudice

No one could have guessed that Penelope was Lady Whisteldown – owing to her unassuming appearance and general demeanour, she was thought to be a docile young woman unable to find a husband because she did not fit the traditional norms of beauty. But because no one paid attention to her, she took advantage of it and made her way through parties and gatherings to collect gossip, which fuelled the success of her newsletter.

Unsurprisingly, it was through this that Penelope started earning good money – something unthinkable for women at the time.

Make a little use of your privilege

It isn’t ideal, especially if you feel guilty about wanting more despite the privilege you carry – but sometimes, making use of it to get what you want is the best thing you can do. Eloise, for instance, took advantage of her entourage to attend meetings and read revolutionary books around women’s liberation. Whatever helps you articulate your needs, do it.

Talk, talk, talk to one another

Eloise and Penelope’s friendship was important because they confided in and supported each other. Going after what you want can get lonely, which is why having a trusted friend by your side is priceless. Talking to your close friends and sharing your knowledge and experiences can help you understand your needs better, and know how to go after them.

Support those who are in the same boat as you

Eloise had no idea who Lady Whistledown was, but she had the utmost respect for her. In a world where women weren’t allowed to take up space the way she did, Eloise was curious and wanted to know how she established her footing with a flourishing newsletter. In essence, supporting her would mean that Eloise would have avenues to become her own person in the future too.

It isn’t ideal to be palatable to a crowd in order to get what you want – some make noise, get loud, and set the rules. But for some, doing so is a matter of immense privilege, and that’s why we can take another route. The idea isn’t to be a ‘good girl’ for life – it is to take what it means and turn it on its head.

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