lazy girl edition / investments / lazy girl's guide

A lazy girl’s guide to becoming filthy rich

. 7 min read . Written by Nruthya Johnson
A lazy girl’s guide to becoming filthy rich

Gertrude Stein once wrote, “I do want to get rich, but I never want to do what there is to do to get rich.” And girl, how I resonate with her!

I am lazy. Super lazy. And I’m not shy to admit it. If I could live off my bed, I would. You might not be as lazy as me (I hope not), but I’m positive we have similar goals — getting rich.

We all desire to make tons of money, but not everyone does. I say it’s because we aren’t lazy enough. Because us lazy people, we work smart, not hard.

Being lazy allows us to separate the things that we really need to do from the less important distractions.

Looking at the data, it’s clear that we women are far behind. Only 9% of women have confidence in their investments and think they make better investors than men. An even more shocking statistic — 22% of women do not know about their investments, while only 13% invested independently.

Let’s turn the tables and be richer than men. Let the men shrug off our crazy earning potential and pretend it doesn’t hurt their ego while we out-earn them. We want the day to finally arrive when women breadwinners can call themselves financially secure, proud, independent, and in control. I dream of the day that I can say the same for myself.

Making money and becoming Elon Musk-rich seems like it requires a lot of hard work, especially if you’re a twenty-something just trying to pay her bills and live.

But if there’s anything we’ve heard about these billionaires, it’s that they don’t work a lot. And I aspire to that. Not the negative associations, but definitely the bling and the dolla’ bills. And isn’t that every girl’s dream? Endless long weekends without weekdays and enough money to spend and then some?

Turns out, there are ways to earn money without working all the time. Hey, I don’t even want to work 9 to 5, and I’m assuming you don’t want to either since you’re here instead of working your life away. Here are 10 ways you can become rich without ever leaving the warmth of your couch (because you deserve to eat more than Maggi when you’re 60).

To sell or not to sell? Sell

Let’s be real for just a minute — do you really need that expensive stereo system when you’re going to end up listening to your music on your phone? Leaving behind whatever possessed you to buy it in the first place, here’s your sign to sell it if you’re not using it as much as you’d like to.

This obviously doesn’t mean you sell just about everything you own so that the only thing left to sell is your soul. Marie-Kondo your house and sell the stuff you no longer need or use, including things that ‘don’t bring you happiness’.

Invest and then invest some more

Investing in the stock market, equities or shares, or any other type of investment is risky, so be warned. And in case you have been living under a rock, you could also consider financially investing in NFTs. Don’t spend money unless you have that kind of money to lose, especially if you’re a beginner, because how else will you live the tragic story of the woman who loses it all if you have nothing to begin with?

You could invest in stocks of a business that’s performing well, but these might not be within your spending capacity. A less expensive business also has the potential to tank or underperform, so invest carefully. Like the Titanic, being on a sinking ship will do you no good.

Be safe, and start with smaller investments, and you can take it from there.

There’s health insurance, life insurance, and SIPs for the rookies, and riskier forms of investment for those who wish to be unproblematic versions of Harshad Mehta.

Hold your horses and slow down

As tempting as the proposition is to get rich overnight, it isn’t always plausible. Unless you’re really lucky and your stars have aligned, your guardian angel has finally taken pity on your miserable life, and they help you win a lottery.

But not everyone is that lucky, so here’s my advice: reap the rewards slower. As long as the world doesn’t end in a few years, you’ll still have the chance to buy 76 coffees a day or book yourself a lifelong massage treatment until your next existential crisis in a few years.

Instead of earning thousands in a week, work towards making tens of thousands in a month. Focus on long-term investments instead of quick fixes.

Easy come, easy go

We usually associate rich people with flashy outfits and expensive cars, but most self-made people don’t spend a lot. Who are you even trying to impress? Lazy women don’t need men in their lives who are incapable of taking care of themselves.

Instead of wasting away your money, build towards investing more or spend it on long-term investments that will get you an even bigger buck.

Don’t spend more than you earn – in case no one’s spelt it out yet: you’ll go broke. As exciting as recreating Two Broke Girls sounds (the first half of the show), it isn’t really fun when it’s your reality. And don’t just invest in one area; diversify your portfolio just like you delegate your tasks at work and get paid to do nothing.

Automate your savings

It’s hard to save money after you’ve spent it. It isn’t so hard when you’ve still got a significant amount in your account. Set aside the money you intend to save before you spend it all. Don’t attempt an Anna Delvey where you borrow money and spend it immediately instead of using it wisely.

And since we’re all residents of lazytown, automating the process the first time around is just better in the lazy long run.

By automating your funds, a fixed amount is directly deposited into your savings account at regular intervals.

Even if your system has 57 pending software updates, don’t skip this step. You’ll never forget to save!

Make money work for you

Setting aside a considerable amount for your savings account when you’re new to this is not realistic, especially if your earnings aren’t nearly enough for you to save... I get it — you’re a rich person-soul born in a poor person’s body. That’s no excuse when it comes to saving and investing.

Start small and incrementally increase the amount that you set aside every month.

Reminder: start early so you can maximise your savings. What’s the thing bro-dudes say? “No pain, no gain!

In comes the passive income

Generating a passive income might initially need a little bit of work, but then you’re all set. And we don’t mean a second job because that means more work.

Anyone can work hard, but who can do nothing and still earn? You.

Whether it’s renting out a space or placing ads on your website for a charge, you can earn more without even moving your finger. Your low-maintenance income can be channelled into your second luxury villa for your pet savings account.

Invest in financial literacy, if not an encyclopaedia

If you aren’t working towards improving your financial literacy, there really isn’t a point in becoming rich. You might as well down all your money on your therapy sessions now while you can still afford them.

At the risk of sounding like your all-knowing dad, the more you learn about finances and investments, the more money you’ll make.

You don’t need to take up business studies or hold a millionaire hostage, but knowing the basics can definitely go a long way.

Thrift, thrift, and thrift

Hey, remember that time you bought an expensive dress and wore it once? And then, you bought something else (yesterday!) because you were bored? Stop doing that.

Find online thrift stores or even cheap local stores that don’t break your bank.

And if possible (you probably can if you cross your heart), stop shopping for clothes when your wardrobe is already overflowing. No, you don’t need to have an OOTD every day – you work from home in your PJs, for heaven’s sake!

Scare yourself into saving

If you’re buying chocolate ice cream every other day like it’s your job, try saving up on coupons or looking for good deals. If that doesn’t work, scare yourself into thinking that your life depends on it (because it slightly does).

Apply all the coupon codes you can, wait for the festive season to shop at discounted rates, and the likes.

Nothing makes you rethink your whole life than seeing all your money go into things you don’t need. Unless you still have an account at the State Bank of Parents.

Logging off early because you want to sleep and be more productive the next day is usually discredited. But no one will wag a finger at you for your investment brain-smarts. Because this really is the smart, easy, and lazy way to go. Use your laziness to work for you instead of the other way around. You can have your lazy days, and eat cake too (because you can afford it).

If all else fails, get adopted by or married into a wealthy family. A day shall come when they’ll die under “mysterious circumstances”, so you can finally live the life you always dreamt of.

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